I enter my grandmother’s home
And confront grief
Grief that is nearly palpable,
Pervasive, and inescapable

Grief that dissolves the childlike conviction, or incomprehension,
Of loss as a fact of life, rather than
A veiled secret that infects the lives of others,
But leaves you be

Tugs the curtain down, and says,
Look, it is coming
Not today, perhaps
And statistically not tomorrow
But most assuredly before you take your last breath on this plane

Grief that makes me glance at my child, or my partner,
And think, I am so blessed and honored to get to love you for a lifetime
But I’m certain I cannot handle your passing with grace
And it may be easier to bear this existence alone

Grief that ushers in a newfound admiration for those who came before me
And had no choice but to suffer loss
After loss
After loss
And depart this earth knowing
They were adding to the collective grief
Of those left behind